Warrior At Life

This just happened today. I don't know how, she was just born, or so it seems. My 2nd baby is 17 today, and she passed her driving test. The day she was born was the scariest of my life. We were both so close to death.  She was born at 34 weeks, weighing in at 4lbs 6oz. She wasn't breathing, blue and purple when she was whisked away. Turns out there was a severe infection in the placenta. I'd the drs didn't deliver, neither one of us would be here.   The point is she was born a fighter. But today, she had it in her mind that she wasn't good enough to pass her drivers test, that no matter what she was going to do, she would fail. She was so anxious, with these negative thoughts flooding her brain. We've all been there, that's for sure. I had to attend a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) group to help me change that, because we know our attitude is 90% of the battle. Why worry about things we have no control over?  How much of our lives do we waste doing that...

I've tried the blogging thing years ago. I'm a faithful old fashioned journal writer, and a mom, and there is nothing I can't stand more than repeating myself. I felt that if I was blogging, I couldn't journal and vice versa. I have a different outlook this time.  So, this is me. Barb, wife of a husband for almost 19 years!!  I'm a mom of 7, 2 boys and 5 girls. I am a knitter, crocheter, but sometimes just call myself a Fiber artist. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm a good friend, faithful in many ways, devoted. I have bipolar. I'm a survivor. A warrior.   I suffered extreme trauma growing up. I was one of the lucky ones. I survived. I was also diagnosed early with my bipolar so I was able to be treated properly with the right medications (not all the time but I'll talk about that later). Most people with bipolar walk around misdiagnosed most of their life. Taking the wrong meds, in and out of inpatient. I was one of the lucky ones.  But this is only a piece...

It's been a crummy, rainy day...the kind of day where things need to get done and I can't find the motivation to do anything.  I get the laundry going, but just sit on the couch, watch old episodes of ER and knit.  But I did get to the gym, so that's something right? Sometimes we need a day like that...sometimes :)